What is the relationship between Lu You and Tang Wan (why did Lu You and Tang Wan separate)

When we read ancient poetry and literature, we still feel regretful when we read the stories of Lu You and Tang Wan. Indeed, we can feel the deep affection between these two people and the feelings behind them. Why didn’t they come together in this situation? What’s the reason for this? Why did Lu You take a break from Tang Wan? Today, the editor has compiled the reasons why Lu You rested with Tang Wan. Below are the detailed contents.
1. Lu Mu believes that Tang Wan influenced Lu You’s career.
After marrying Tang Wan, Lu You was immersed in the intimacy with his wife all day long, forgetting about the pursuit of fame and fortune, and had no intention of seeking official positions. This is intolerable for Lu You’s mother, who is determined to make her son a high-ranking official in order to honor her ancestors. So she repeatedly talked to Tang Wan, hoping that she could persuade Lu You to temporarily put aside his childhood love, focus on studying, and achieve fame. But Tang Wan didn’t take it seriously and remained the same as Lu You. This angered Lu’s mother, who believed that Tang Wan had blocked Lu You’s future.
2. Tang Wan did not conceive any children.
Mencius said, “There are three types of unfilial behavior, and having no offspring is the greatest.” After two or three years of marriage, Lu You and Tang Wan did not conceive or have children. This also made Lu’s mother extremely dissatisfied.
3. The fortune teller’s slander against Tang Wan.
Lu’s mother went to find someone for fortune telling, and the fortune teller said that Tang Wanke’s husband initially blocked her future, but in the future, she will crush Lu You. Upon hearing this, Mrs. Lu understood that her son’s future was uncertain, and there was also concern for his life. It seems that this daughter-in-law cannot be kept, so after Lu’s mother returned home, she asked Lu You to send Tang Wan back to her parents’ home.
4. Lu’s mother is forcing her to die, and her mother’s orders are difficult to disobey.
In the feudal society where one had to obey their parents’ orders, Lu You couldn’t bear to part with Tang Wan and dared not disobey his mother’s orders. He had to save the country by renting a house outside and settling Tang Wan down. He is a well behaved son at home, but occasionally secretly goes out to meet Tang Wan. Later, when Lu’s mother found out about this, she was furious and forced Lu You to drive Tang Wan back to her mother’s house to death. Although Lu You was reluctant to part ways, he still couldn’t disobey his mother’s orders and sent Tang Wan back to her mother’s home.
Soon after, Lu You married another wife under his mother’s arrangement, and Tang Wan also married someone else under her parents’ arrangement. From then on, the lingering love between Lu You and Tang Wan was completely severed.
In summary, we can see that Lu You’s dismissal of Tang Wan was indeed due to his mother’s tyranny. Someone said that Lu You later met Tang Wan and wrote the timeless poem “Hairpin Phoenix Red Crispy Hands” for her. The poem expressed his longing for Tang Wan and the uncomfortable feeling of being forced to part ways. Since he loved Tang Wan so much, why did he have to listen to his mother’s words?
Since ancient times, filial piety has been a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, with filial piety being the top priority. Although Lu You may have been a bit foolish in filial piety, in the feudal era where “filial piety” was valued more than anything else, he was taught from a young age to obey his parents’ orders. Even though he had a sense of resistance, he did not have the courage to put it into practice in front of his mother who was pushing him to death.
In fact, not only in ancient times, but even in this enlightened era, there are many couples who have separated or had tragic endings due to parental obstruction. When parents force themselves with their own lives, whether to choose the person they love or their parents is still a difficult question and one that no one wants to encounter.
The tragic love story between Lu You and Tang Wan, a talented and beautiful couple, is heartbreaking and regretful. It is hoped that parents can approach their children’s perspective more and provide advice and suggestions, but do not excessively interfere with their children’s marriage. After all, both good and bad times are experienced by themselves; As children, we should also understand that parents’ guidance on our marriage stems from their love for us. We should have more understanding and empathy towards our parents, listen to what makes sense, and persuade them more if we feel it doesn’t, after all, they are our closest relatives.
As long as both parents and children communicate more and understand each other, such a tragic love story will not happen again.